It's good so far, very engaging in the first 4 chapters. Throws you right into the story while keeping the character development flowing...
For some reason, "the slap" took me out of the story. Felt like I was in the midst of a 1940s comedy movie, but that's probably just me.
Also, FYI: "He never fumbled the catch." "Fumbled catch" is an (American) football term. You describe him as a former potential pro baseball player. Something like "never made an error" type thing would be more accurate here.
As it is, apparently, Isaac - whether resurrected, never dead, or, say, one of a number of 'Isaac Clones' - who has come to the door then, yes, its understandable that Option polled top. Isaac's not knowing who the individuals in front of him are is a way to keep laying out text (and ideas) without firm;y fixing them as 'story facts'.
I agree with Carol "there is so much going here" which is working for me as I come in from the cold on The Experiment: as I play catch-up I'm finding the unfolding story is drawing me in. No problem that I've got some many more questions than answers (or that I don't place much reliability on the answers that have, somehow, started taking shape)... I'm warming to the drama. What will happens next, in Draft 0?
There’s so much happening here. I like that Toni is perhaps an unreliable narrator and it’s clear the sands are shifting under her feet. I’d like to know more of the shared history of our three main characters. The escape room background makes me mistrust the story being played out... is it a wider scenario for another game? The pace and the unanswered questions make me want to read on . Exciting project.
It's good so far, very engaging in the first 4 chapters. Throws you right into the story while keeping the character development flowing...
For some reason, "the slap" took me out of the story. Felt like I was in the midst of a 1940s comedy movie, but that's probably just me.
Also, FYI: "He never fumbled the catch." "Fumbled catch" is an (American) football term. You describe him as a former potential pro baseball player. Something like "never made an error" type thing would be more accurate here.
On to #5, thanks....
As it is, apparently, Isaac - whether resurrected, never dead, or, say, one of a number of 'Isaac Clones' - who has come to the door then, yes, its understandable that Option polled top. Isaac's not knowing who the individuals in front of him are is a way to keep laying out text (and ideas) without firm;y fixing them as 'story facts'.
I agree with Carol "there is so much going here" which is working for me as I come in from the cold on The Experiment: as I play catch-up I'm finding the unfolding story is drawing me in. No problem that I've got some many more questions than answers (or that I don't place much reliability on the answers that have, somehow, started taking shape)... I'm warming to the drama. What will happens next, in Draft 0?
There’s so much happening here. I like that Toni is perhaps an unreliable narrator and it’s clear the sands are shifting under her feet. I’d like to know more of the shared history of our three main characters. The escape room background makes me mistrust the story being played out... is it a wider scenario for another game? The pace and the unanswered questions make me want to read on . Exciting project.