Wrestling with a Pig

Never get in the mud to wrestle a pig.

You’ll just get dirty, and the pig likes it.

This post is for paid members of the community. Join up — you’ll get all my posts, past and future, including essays, humour, fiction, behind-the-scenes publishing gossip, and much more. Usually this is just £1 (around US$1.30) per week, but until March 31st 2025 you can get a whopping 40% off an annual subscription . Bargain!

ALTERNATIVELY, if you don’t want to subscribe but do want to purchase just this article, then you can do so here. It’s just 99p (about US$1.28), with no obligation to make further purchases.

---

I do not read reviews.

I haven’t since Second Life came out. I made the decision when, a few days before publication, right in the middle of lunch, my publicist messaged me.

— There’s a review in [one of the newspapers], she said. — Don’t respond to it.

— Not good, then? I replied, and she told me that no, no it wasn’t.

I decided there and then not to even read it. It was only going to hurt, right? I asked my then-partner to, though. I didn’t want specifics, but I did want to know what the reviewer had a problem with. The writing? The plot? The ending? The characters?