As someone who writes and talks about writing, I’ve been looking to find a way to bridge the gap between both. The Experiment will see me write and publish the first draft of a novel (‘draft zero’) - with no polishing and no eyes on this other than mine, and then yours, of course. This is a daunting prospect, as one of the things I firmly believe about draft zero is that one should write it safe in the knowledge that no one will see it at all. Yet here I am, sharing it with you all!
What follows is a link to Chapter 1, followed by Chapter 2. (Or the first part of it at least; I’ve a feeling there might be a second scene in this chapter. But for now this is it.) Today I’d like to extend my thanks to Andy Hollis who made a suggestion which led me to Leah’s character.
Do let me know what you think! At the end of this post is an invitation for you to help shape the story as it develops. Enjoy, and keep your eyes open for Chapter 3 (or the second part of chapter 2!) within the next couple of weeks. And don’t forget, though the chapters themselves will always be free, paying subscribers will also get all the background and behind-the-scenes posts as the story develops, as well as all my other posts. All that, for around £1 per week (less if you pay for a whole year in advance), and your subscription will help to enable me to continue this project. So please do consider upgrading your subscription.
CHAPTER 2
The rain was pelting down, slicking the tarmac, as if with sweat. The ride to The Death Zone was treacherous, more so because Toni didn’t know the route. She had to almost feel her way, and nearly skidded off the road several times. With no clear idea of where she started from she had to navigate more or less by instinct; a general sense of direction mixed with something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, the urge to find her friend perhaps, to reach a place of relative safety where she could clean up, gather her thoughts and try to figure out what the hell was going on.
The roads were quiet, for long stretches she could almost believe she was alone out there. She took several wrong turns, and for a while found herself riding in an ever increasing circle, though she passed the same bakery at least three times. But just as she was beginning to despair of ever finding her way to The Death Zone, or even managing to escape from whichever hellhole of a suburb she’d mysteriously found herself in, she saw it, looming in the distance. The Belltower.
She steered towards it, leaning into the curve, more grateful than ever for the concrete monstrosity that, at least, made it easier to navigate downtown. Originally intended to be residential, it had emptied out following the crash, more or less completely. Now only a handful of lights remained on in the black hole of its ninety-odd storeys, though over the years Toni had heard rumours that many more were occupied. Squatters, some said, thought that seemed unlikely, given the private security that patrolled the lower floors 24/7. Evidence, some believed, that the government had taken it over, with theories flying that it had been turned into anything from a top-secret military hospital to an unofficial, off-the-map prison. She had friends who’d tried to get close, they claimed to have heard screaming from the lower floors, they hinted at torture, or experimentation, and though she wasn’t one for conspiracy theories she’d been warned away so often that the place both fascinated and appalled in equal measure.
None of that mattered to her now. She knew if she headed for it, then sooner or later she’d recognise a landmark and be able to find her way to The Death Zone. It was all she could think of, all that mattered.
It didn’t happen as quickly as she thought. She was almost in the shadow of the tower before she recognised a row of shops — a laundrette, followed by what had one been a bank, then an all-night grocery store — opposite a youth centre in which her father had once tried to persuade her to take an interest in Jujitsu. It was empty now, and seemed to have been boarded up, almost overnight.
She knew there was an alley between the grocery and the house next to it, and Toni steered down that now. She went slowly — the homeless slept here sometimes, dealers hung around, it was where Isaac would sometimes come — but it was empty.
Isaac, she thought. She’d left him, back there, in that strange flat that she’d never be able to find again. How could she? She was a terrible person.
She couldn’t afford to think of that now, though. She didn’t have the luxury of time. Time to think, time to grieve. It would have to wait until she knew what the hell had happened. How she’d come to find herself there, soaked in her lover’s blood.
The main road was as empty as the rest. The Death Zone was ahead, she was sure of it, and it was getting late. She had to get there before it closed. Before Leah locked up and disappeared for the rest of the evening. She couldn’t say why, but she felt certain that her life depended on it.
She saw it then and braked hard, taking the final turn into an alleyway before dropping her bike to the floor, almost before it’d come to a halt. The back door, an emergency exit from the days when the place was a nightclub and the route in and out for those who work here now.
She hammered on it, before remembering Leah would probably be wearing headphones. In any case, she’d told her there was an entry code. ‘Sixteen, twenty-two,’ she said. ‘If you’re ever in trouble.’
And boy was she in trouble now.
She’d been this way before — though never alone — yet still it felt bizarrely unfamiliar. The weirdly unsettling smell of grease was new, and the air tasted damp, even more so than before. Unable to find the light-switch in the place she’d expected it to be, she was forced to climb the metallic stairs in the dark. Her heart hammered so loud she felt certain it must be clearly audible in the booming interior.
She paused half-way up and listened. From the other side of the wall she could hear laughter, a youthful giggling. Though impossible to pick out the words, it sounded like a playful argument, and beneath it, so faint she might be imagining it , she could hear a relentless ticking. At the top of the stairs another door led to Leah’s office.
The control room of the Death Zone. Her friend was in there, she had her back to the door and heavy headphones clamped over her ears. She was sitting back in her revolving chairs, boots on the desk, her eyes fixed on the monitors above her. Toni didn’t think she’d heard her come in.
‘Leah?’ she said, her voice croaky, as if it’d been weeks since she’d last used it. She coughed, then tried again. ‘Leah!’
Still nothing. Toni approached slowly, not wanting to surprised her friend. She had no idea how she’d react — she’d seen her pull a knife on someone on more than one occasion — and Toni was enough on edge as it was.
She looked at what Leah was watching. The CCTV was in grainy black and white and it covered the main area, a large room in which eight or nine people moved frantically, searching objects and opening drawers. The room they were investigating was a mish-mash of styles; a huge leather-covered desk, shelves groaning under the weight of assorted objects — a stuffed bird, a phrenology head, dusty books, a metronome, a digital alarm clock — a huge hourglass next to a motorbike, a human skeleton. The overall effect was a kind of steam-punk asylum crossed with a deranged doctor’s consulting room, and resplendent in the centre was an electric chair in which sat slumped a man, his arms apparently shackled to those of the chair, a strange colander-like device in his head from which wires snaked their way to the ceiling.
Leah leaned forward and spoke wearily into a microphone. ‘Sorry, babe,’ she said. ‘They’re nowhere near.’
A twitch from the guy in the chair? It was impossible to say, though Toni knew he’d be wearing an earpiece and would’ve heard Leah’s update.
Suddenly Leah spun round.
‘Shit!’
She was on her feet almost before Toni could react.
‘You scared the fuck out of me!’
‘Sorry,’ said Toni desperately. Her voice cracked, even on that one word. ‘I need—’
‘What the hell is wrong with your face?’ Leah ripped the headphones off and tossed them to the floor. ‘Toni? Babe? What’s happened?’
Toni collapsed into Leah’s outstretched arms.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘But it’s Isaac. He’s… he’s dead.’
Let me know what you think, and more importantly let me know how you’d like to see the story develop. Any ideas I use will be credited, both here and in the novel (if and when it’s published).
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'Isaac?' >>> 'She could only hope they had not.' Yes I've started and stayed the course of Chapter 5 Draft 0. So I'm up speed with the story so far and, having persuaded B to instruct the Treasurers to stump up for a Subscription to get me inside The Paywall, I'm heading Behind the Scenes to get a sense of just how this story is being extruded onto its pages.
Maybe we'll be sharing POVs here when when we had have Chapter 6 land, in plain sight and fully accessible to view, here in this thread? If so, know I'm looking forward to it.
So, in this second leg, the scrolling pages have travelled me from 'The rain was pelting down, slicking the tarmac, as if with sweat.' >>> '‘But it’s Isaac. He’s… he’s dead.’
I'm beginning to get a sense of the geography that's emerging as the words are extruded in the text of Draft 0. The setting, so far, is urban. The ride the Toni character takes to reach The Death Zone evidences, in addition to places, the tell tale urban elements of paths, edges, districts, nodes and landmarks. The Death Zone has turned out to be an entertainment venue not district, The location and name of this urban place is not revealed.
Apart from it being night there is, so far no sense of the time in which the story is set - present, or future, or past are open questions.
Whether time and place will become any clearer is moot: there is a sense of the surreal about this breaking story. Is it a real or an imaginary urban world?
So far three characters Toni, Isaac (Deceased) and Leah have materialised and some details, snippets really, are known to the reader by the end of Chapter 2.
Nothing urgent to report to B. I'll stick with the story at least through Chapter 3, curious to know if Leah turns out to know what to do but uncertain that there is need of cold case operative like me to be in play.